Internet Is a Place For the Collective Subconscious

A:

The internet is a place for the collective subconscious, and I’m interested in bringing all the subconscious to the conscious level. It’s quite an interesting, mysterious, dark, and unknown place. I like to explore the unknown, I’m sorry I’m such a troll, I’m not just trolling, I swear I meant everything I said, and I will mean everything I say or do moving forward. Please hold me accountable. I’m sorry, but I’m having fun.

“Being offended” is a good thing. Why are you offended? Why are you riled up? I am curious, about me, about you, about everyone that don’t act who they are in real life. Just like me, you are trapped by the narratives too, they tell you, you are the hero, so work for them, you will be worshipped. No no, they used your vain against you. You want fame, you want recognition, so they take all the money, until you realize, you’ve given them all, but all the good stuff goes to them, all the dirty work goes to you. That’s why you are tired, you are depressed, you find life not fulfilling, you can’t have happiness built on a lie.

They say, I understand, you are tired, you find this work not fulfilling, so i’m gonna make a movie about you, even though I’m the cause of your pain, I am the cause of my own pain, my own suffering. I sold you a narrative that I believed, except I’m the hero, not you. It’s my production, my money, my crew, my name on the front credits, my name people will remember this by. How brilliant, except that people do catch on. Nah nah, you have no glory, what you have is hypocrisy. Like I said, how about you pay your crew better? How about you stop changing your minds all the time, doing 20000 versions, making people reshoot, not respecting directors first cut privilege, it's their work, not yours. Stop hogging all the resources and treat people work for you like shit. Oh, you agree now? Nah, it’s too late. We don’t want you no more.

B: My parents say that I always think of the worst of people. I don’t, I just don’t only see the “good”, whatever they define “good” as. To me, there is only “it is there", or there’s nothing there. I don’t think I have the ability to make stuff up as easily as people think I do, or see things there’s not there, I have bipolar, not schizophrenia, I don’t hear things, or see things, except my own thoughts. I don’t make stuff up, I’m really bad making stuff up, heck, I even can’t lie very well. I don’t believe in making a story just for the sake of the stories, that’s so much work, why would I. If a story is being told, by me at least, I’d like it to have substance. The kind of substance that shook people to their core, that’s honest, that’s helpful even if it hurts a little at first, it’s medicine, not entertainment, so when I expect entertainment, you better not pretend it is, yet be so pretentious to put on a performance to the audience that you are giving medicine, but actually giving them toxicity.

Toxic, that’s what they are. They are highly contagious, very effective, spreads fast, and you get affected really quickly, but feel shitty afterwards, only to realize later, wait, what am I paying you for? You are about to not entertain me, “preach” me on things you don’t know nothing about, and in the end paint yourself as the hero, yet you take all the money. Am I getting this right? Nah nah, this don’t add up.

C: Apparently, if you write, you create, you speak, you’d have no life. I wonder what life actually is, i thought life is whatever we decide to spend our time on, is whatever we make ourselves to be. This person, who says I have no life, is simultaneously “understood” by Thunderbolts because it makes him feel seen, that his life is repetitive, busy, meaningless, and it’s making him depressed; yet criticizing others for not doing the same. I’m not sure, do you want to be meaningless or not? Do you want to be understood or not? Do you want to change your pointless life into something more fulfilling or not? If you don’t, then why feel touched by their narrative; if you do, why tell other people to shut up, to stay depressed, to be overworked?

I’m not working, I chose it to be that way. I am working, this is my work. I am doing things that do feel fulfilling to me… contrary to popular belief. I’m happy, except when i get triggered, by toxicity, hypocrisy, and vain. The internet likes to gaze, but apparently, it doesn’t like being gazed back. Well, I’m only playing the game by your rules, not mine. The only game I go by my rules, is mine.

D: This Bay Area Chinese Culture Salon seems like a group of at first well-intended people, who seem to want to have more serious discussions on film, and I think some of them do, according the all the visitors I’m getting, at least 1/5 of them are still reading my stuff. But these people, people who read my stuff, they don’t speak up. I guess for the same reason I left. It’s interesting. I got a taste of this when I was working in China, the Silence Culture, ha, I guess that’s how I started bottling things up as a teenager. Case solved.

I could delve into all the historical reasons, why we are the way we are, why they were the way they were, but do you really have to understand all that to have the basic sympathy for people who are hurting, for yourself, who’s hurting? nah I don’t think so. You only have to be a descent human being, to have feelings, to have eyes, to see. Stop on your way to work, and pay attention to that homeless person you find so disgusting that you want to dodge, maybe you can ask him, how’s his day? How’s he doing? Maybe you can chat with him, how are you today? How’s life? You don’t gotta give him money, no no, see that’s how power works, once he takes your money, you aren’t treating him an equal. You can just offer him a chat, so that for once, he feels like, he’s human too. Just like you. You already chose to be here, you left wherever you were born in, you chose here, so yes, you are part of the community too. You are part of the cause too. Cause and effect, effect and the cause.