I love him, that's without a doubt. How should I describe my love for him? I'm not sure. I don't care who's reading this, this is my silent love letter to him.

Unlike you with your onlyfans porn with your ex girlfriend, the account of which's followers you keep blocking. "It's for excitement, not exposure." I think the real reason is, you loved her so, you wanted to own her, even in such an insidious, yet humble way. You loved her so, that you'd want to leave the evidence of your love, public. You wanted it to leave a mark, you wanted to show the world. You are possessive, you are mad. Mad that she couldn't be the way you wanted, yet you didn't know how to help her. You blame yourself for it, but as a man you are, you blame her.

I'm sure this will turn you on too, scribbles of secrets, only you and I understand. Your inside and outside, outside and inside, everything is not how it seems. You won me at chess twice, yet you couldn't keep playing, you could win, but you couldn't last. I'm just getting started, can you keep up? You remind me of my age, or are you reminding yourself of my age? Are you ashamed, you are attracted to me? I'm traumatized, don't let the outside replace the inside.

Men are visual animals, I didn't know the extent of it. Men are visual animals, they chase after you on visual cues, then disrespectfully invade your boundaries, take a spot, then invade another inch, then another yard. I don't know how many people read me before they saw me, somehow, you are, not quite as shallow as you present yourself to be either.

You want to be seen as shallow, as ever-changing, as always camouflaged, because just like a vampire, you are scared of the sun. You are not ready to accept yourself, you are not ready to allow the world see you for who you are, because unlike every girl in the world had to learn, you have not learned how to not let the world change you. So this is my lesson to you, from one human to another, how to love and care.

Love is unconditional, I'm a supporter of it. Love is momentum, is gravity, is intuition, is second nature. There's a lot to unpack there, I will stop here. Love is something I'm still learning to learn, how to learn love, its the question of the millennia. I love him, it's second nature, I love him, because I met him when I was me, when he was him. I love him, because even though everything has changed, parts of us haven't. I love him, because unlike tiktok, which demands the attention span of shorter than 2 minutes, some things last, some things have ups and downs, ever-changing, always alive. There are things that come with time, you start to breath the same air, be on the same frequency, fully embracing each other, fully enjoying each other. You wouldn't know, because you wouldn't know.

This is not designated to a specific person, come, take a seat. This is merely a byproduct of the process, I'll record it here for you. I analyze, I freely write, because when the world is going to shit, I still need a space to be free. No one is free, yet everyone is free. We are free to love, even if we can't all be together. We are free to breath, to enjoy the sun, the plants, the streets, the people, to realise life itself as a miracle.

Life is a miracle, a truth people often forget. Life is a miracle, so grand and beautiful, its an omen from the god, too precious to be witnessed alone, that if life is not shared with another soul, we feel so alone. Look, at how grand this is, oh wait, there's no one here with me. I'd cry, I did cry, I was lost, I was found.

I was found, in the darkness of winter Chicago, on Navy Pier, after that last minute concert, where we stood in a small jazz club, and saw Laufey for first time. I was found in the streets of Shanghai, seafood restaurants of Huangdao, Stiky Tofu stands in Changsha. I was lost, i was found. I was found over and over again, you take me back to where I'm supposed to go.