Xy was born in Wuhan. We met at a 706 event before—someone invited people in the group chat to go to the Asian Art Museum. I was a bit curious, so I went. I looked around and wasn’t interested at all—I didn’t care how precious these national treasures were, or how they ended up in other people’s hands. Although now that I think about it, maybe this isa better home for them—at least better than being smashed or destroyed.
Back then, she didn’t know me at all. She asked what I thought. I said I didn’t really have any thoughts—I prefer contemporary art. She didn’t know me, yet went straight in with, “Then why did you come?” I was like: damn she’s direct. Most people wouldn’t say anything seeing my expression like that. At the same time, I thought: this person doesn’t feel ordinary. Outwardly I stayed calm and explained: I really don’t know much about ancient artifacts, relics, or Chinese history—I don’t really understand them. I just came out of curiosity, and the museum was free today.
She didn’t seem satisfied with my answer, curled her lip, didn’t say much, turned and left.I thought to myself: I want to know more about this person.I hurried to catch up and asked, “So what do you think?” Honestly, I don’t remember what she said—I just remember she had some insight, but I didn’t quite understand it. So I tried to shift the conversation toward areas I was more familiar with. I also don’t remember what I asked or what she answered. All I remember is thinking: I need to see her again.
Later, I added her on WeChat, and we slowly got to know each other. Turns out she was a UI designer for a music app at a certain tech company. Sounds impressive, but she doesn’t really care about that job—she always brushes it off. She likes drawing. Lately she’s been into using Midjourney—experimenting with all kinds of prompts, tweaking an image repeatedly until she’s satisfied, and then posting it to Instagram. I looked at her IG and was impressed. Such a strong personal aesthetic and clear preferences—I haven’t seen anyone use AI to this extent before. Though now that I think about it, I’ve also pushed ChatGPT to a certain degree—almost like how I extract everything I can from movies.
That period, I was quite busy—though I don’t remember what exactly, probably some stupid stuff. She had been wanting to quit her job at that tech company and leave Silicon Valley—to go live out in the world for a while. Last April, she finally made it happen. Until yesterday when she came back to the Bay Area, she’d been in a semi-nomadic state. Because of some circumstances, she had to return to the U.S. for less than a month, and renting wasn’t convenient—so we just let her stay at our place.
It’s always great seeing a friend, of course we had a lot to catch up on. From lunch until now, we’ve been talking non-stop for four hours—she’s so tired she’s napping to fight the jet lag, and that’s when I finally started writing this little side note. We talked about a lot—her experiences in the Mediterranean, the UK, Thailand, Portugal, Spain. I used to have zero interest in those places, but hearing her stories made me really want to visit.We also talked about how her friends experience of visiting a muslim country, and seeing the living conditions of the women there. It was hard for her to comprehend. She wondered, if she was wrapped in a black robe from the day she was born to the day she die, follow a predetermined path, dedicating herself to God, how would she feel? I asked the question of, let’s just hypothetically speaking say that life is painful. Let’s say, she’s going to be in pain. If you life from birth to death is all pain, and you’re not even allowed to end it yourself—is such a life worth living? I’m not sure if she formed her opinions by the end of our conversations. For me though, I’ve arrived at the conclusion that life itself is a form of self-expression, even if it’s in pain, it’s still worth it.
Happiness isn’t the only thing that’s “right.” Joy isn’t the only thing that’s valid. Pain isn’t wrong. It’s just another form of expression.
