You’re honestly so annoying. Inside, I’m always watching him with a cold stare, but on the outside I still keep up that “Hi, what do you want?” look. What are you even doing? Are you coming closer or backing off? If you’re moving in, acting like you won’t retreat—am I supposed to pretend I don’t notice? Or should I just tell you to stop and walk away? Or maybe I should just avoid you altogether.

But when I can’t avoid you, I realize I really enjoy the time I spend with you. It’s easy, quiet, natural. I can talk if I want to, and if I don’t, it doesn’t feel empty. I don’t know what this is called. Do I like boys? It feels a bit unfamiliar. Do I like him, or is it someone else? What even is “liking” someone? What’s the difference? I don’t know.